how i almost drowned at the dentist :/

I'm not going to name any names. Maybe I should, to protect readers from possibly going to the same dentist... If you are looking for a dentist, ask me which one not to choose, and I will let you know!

That being said, today Brian and I had an interesting experience.

Feeling spiffy with new insurance from my new job, Brian and I thought it was about time we made a trip to the dentist. We had been having some teeth sensitivity and we wanted to get it figured out before it got worse. Well, I called around to a bunch of different dentists trying to find the best deal. We pay a percentage, not a flat co-pay, so we still wanted one that was cheap so we wouldn't break the bank.

Sometimes you get what you pay for.

I found a really great deal. I'll admit it - it sounded almost too good. But, because they gave the good deal as a "BYU discount", I figured it was ok.

So, Brian and I show up for our 11:30 appointment at 11:15 (be proud, mom - you've always told me to go early to appointments). Now, I am not overly picky about how my dentist or doctor offices look, but this was something else! Brian and I politely tried to ignore the excessive cat and fish decorations, brown walls, heavy curtains from the 60's, carpet probably that old too, and... dental equipment that was probably older than both of us combined. Yikes. We were willing to let it slide and see how the dentist was (after all, decorations really don't matter that much).

I was brought back to a dark room full of filing boxes (the receptionist informed me that they were busy going through all their old patient files), sat on a really old yellow dental chair, and asked if I was pregnant. I said no and the dentist came in to do some x-rays. He was a really nice man. I don't have anything against old people, but he was really old. Maybe I can blame some of what happened later on his age. Poor guy.

So, he starts doing the x-rays and the machine keeps drifting. I don't even know how to explain it... Look at this picture, and maybe that will help.

Anyway, he was trying to take the x-ray but the joint wasn't tight enough so the little nozzle part that is supposed to be next to my jaw kept drifting down towards my chin. He eventually got a shot on both sides.

Now, maybe I've just been to some high-tech dentists, but as far as I know, almost everything is computerized nowadays. Not at this office. Our x-rays came out on tiny little films where you could barely see the teeth, let alone if there were any cavities! He said our teeth looked fine. We told them we had some sensitivity and he didn't care :/.

Now for the good part.

I walk into the next room where I am to have my cleaning and stuff. The dentist is showing Brian a model of a human skull and telling him some things about it. Well, the hygienist muttered under her breath on the way out the door that it is a real skull. Gross. Even better, I guess it used to be an ashtray! Haha.

Brian stayed to observe while I got my cleaning and "exam." I have never been so grateful for those stylish little bibs they give you in my life! I only wish I had been offered a face mask and eye shields as well. Well, the hygienist is nowhere to be found and the dentist starts with the cleaning. He has this supersonic water-pic/teeth cleaner thing he whips out so he can get under my permanent retainer. He decides to use that tool for the rest of the cleaning as well. Here's where it gets tricky.

Very nonchalantly, the dentist says, "Let me know when you're about to drown and I'll let you spit." As he starts the process, I can tell it's going to get messy. Suddenly I'm getting wet all over. The tool he is using is making a mist and drenching my face, the hose connected to his tool has a leak and is dumping water down my neck, and then let's not forget the small detail that he is pumping water into my mouth and he isn't using a suction device to get it back out! I can't possibly swallow with his hands and this horrible device in my mouth and so the water is just dumping out of my mouth on  both sides. Ahhhh! Brian is just chuckling behind me and the dentist just doesn't care that I'm getting a bath/shower along with my teeth cleaning.

Next he pulls out that whirling swirling toothbrush and dives in with that. I was just grateful that I hadn't drowned yet and figured this couldn't be as bad. Well, it wasn't as bad, but it was still plenty messy because every time he took the whirling toothbrush out of my mouth, he kept it running so it was whirling and swirling, throwing toothpaste and saliva all over everything in sight! Brian was kind enough to help me get some out of my eyebrows after we got home. I wasn't there for Brian's cleaning, but he said he had a similar experience with the whirling toothbrush.

Did I mention I hate going to the dentist?

We did not set up any return appointments. When we gave the receptionist (who was also the hygienist) our insurance card, she looked up incredulously and said, "You guys have insurance?! But, you could go anywhere with that!" Clearly we weren't the only ones who thought we were crazy for choosing this dentist.

Have you ever had a bad dentistry experience?