#6. Hardest Thing

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?


I guess I could think about this one in the emotional, physical, spiritual, or intellectual sense. I think the most difficult experience I've had that combines all of these was the mission I served for my church. Talk about a roller coaster of the greatest joys, deepest sorrow, and everything in between! I learned so much about myself and the world around me during those 18 months and I will always be grateful for that. Some things I learned the hard way:

• God usually doesn't answer your prayers when you want Him to or how you want Him to. I do believe He always listens. though.
• It is really difficult to be far from your family with only once-a-week letters for communication
• Not all Mormons are good people. I think I knew that before I left, but I really learned that on my mission! On the flip-side, there are many, many non-members that are exceptional people! There is good and bad everywhere you go.
• Learning a language is frustrating, but rewarding as it opens you up to new cultures.
• As much as I want to be, I'm not in control - God is!
• Sometimes people have questions that can't be answered. Often I have questions that can't be answered - now that's frustrating!
• Finding love for those who hate you, use you, abuse you, etc. is possible.
• Learning to change myself and realize that my way is not the best way for everyone!

Ok, so those are just a few. I went through difficult times of personal struggles, self-doubts, doubts in God and in what I was doing, extreme disappointments, and I experienced more love and hope than I ever had before! Talk about a crazy year and a half. I am so grateful for everyone I met - both those who practically spit in my face and those who welcomed me with open arms. I learned that everyone is at different stages in life and that some are ready to get to know God a little better and some are not. I learned that I can make positive differences in the lives of those around me. I learned better how to represent my Savior. I learned about discipline and obedience. I learned that I needed to focus less on my goals and more on people. I am still working on that one. I love the quote that someone said - I don't think we'll be judged by the number of prayers we offer, but more on the number of prayers we answer - or something like that.

It's been over two years since I got back from my mission. I remember missing it every single day when I first got back and how much I detested having to worry about things like boys and homework again. The yearning to go back has gone away some with time but I still try to think about my mission often and have tried to find different ways to incorporate the lessons I learned into my life. Brian and I started to a "mission story a week" a few months back, but have failed miserably. Maybe we'll try and get that started again. I don't want to forget about all the amazing experiences I had! I think it is so easy to reason away feelings, experiences, and even your testimony if you aren't constantly trying to have spiritual experiences and remembering the ones you've had in the past.

Las Hermanas Misioneras!

The other difficult experience that came to mind was selling pest control in Florida the summer after my sophomore year. Talk about an insane experience! Maybe I'll write on that in a later post :)

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How did everyone like general conference?! I thought it was super - I, unfortunately, slept through parts of it thanks to the night shifts I did the days prior, but I liked what I heard. I've downloaded the talks so I can listen to them on my long commutes over the next few weeks!